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June 1, 2013

The night of June 1st…

As the first day of June 2013 draws to a close, its causing me to take in long slow breaths and tell myself its all going to be ok – because HE is trustworthy, faithful & good.  June 2013 is here.  And its coming, whether I like it or not, with a whole lot of change.

Some small.  Some big.  And some life-as-we-know-it altering.

Even those small changes can somehow still manage to seem quite big to my heart.  Like my firstborn daughter entering the double digits.  She’s never been here before, and I’ve never been a mom to a double digit child.  The years are passing so quickly.  She’s into brands now.  And perfume.  And giggles about boys.  Yet her heart is so engaged toward the Lord.  Mom to a tween is amazing, but so humbling.  I hope I can help her chart the tumultuous waters of the growing up years upon us.  His grace becomes even more sweet.

Small changes.  Like turning 36.  Aging alongside my firstborn.  Like being married for 12 years.  I can fit the best years of my life into a perfect dozen.  He has been so good to us.  And I find myself reflecting on how this life is fleeting and I long to give it all I’ve got, alongside my husband & daughters, to spend our lives – poured out – for his glory.

And then there’s big changes – like saying goodbye to our familiar life.  The life we’ve known in New Jersey since our youngest was 3.   Its been 4 1/2 years since we headed east in that big yellow moving truck.  Then, we parted from those we loved deeply and moved to where we knew only one family.  I remember finding myself with tears rolling down my cheeks as I drove east following that big yellow truck, while I listened to our daughter’s CD of a child’s version retelling of the story of Abraham & Lot leaving their homeland and all they knew and having no idea where they were going…but just stepping out in faith.

The one family we knew then has multiplied into a whole lot more.  People we care deeply about.  People who have become our family – Grandparents, Aunts & Uncles, Cousins – to our girls.

It is so very hard to go. 3000 miles west is life-as-we-know-it altering.  My heart is well aware of how quickly the next 30 days are going to pass.

Many months are filled with ‘stuff’ and then but a flip of my calendar.  But not this one.

June 2013 will be remembered…

Above all, I know with the deep confidence that is ours as his children, that I will look back and remember the beauty of his faithfulness. For he is always holding.  Forever holding…

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*The family in the summer of ’09.  At Love Park, Philadelphia.

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